Integrated Wholeness, LLC

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Skip the Ice Cream: Here’s A Better Post-Breakup Plan

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Breakups are hard, there’s no two-ways about it. The emotional toll is enough to send many women into the fetal position with one hand wrapped around a spoon and the other around a pint of Häagen-Dazs®.

The problem with reaching for comfort foods in times of crisis is that they set us up to feel even worse. Yes, sugar absolutely gives us an initial rush. We feel energized and happy. Guess what happens when you eat sugar? Your brain produces more dopamine, a feel-good chemical. Before long, you are eating more and more ice cream to keep your dopamine levels up.

When you experience a breakup, it’s important to fight your urge to self-medicate the sadness away through unhealthy foods or alcohol. Here are some things you can do instead to feel better:

Create a New Space

It’s time for a fresh new start, and there’s no better way to do this than by giving your living space a makeover. Move the furniture around, give your living room a new paint color. Get some new sheets and linens. You want to remove obvious memories from your home and create the kind of space that makes you feel excited for your future.

Reconnect with Loved Ones

Often when we’re in a relationship, all of our time and energy goes to the other person and we see old friends and family less than we’d like. Now is a great time to reconnect with those people who will love and support you through this hard time.

Try Mindfulness Meditation

And speaking of connecting with loved ones, it’s time to connect with yourself. Mindful meditation is a great way to quiet your thoughts and just be with the REAL you. Meditation also helps to alleviate stress. Five to 10 minutes a day is all you need to start feeling calm and balanced, and this is a much better headspace to begin making choices and decisions for your future.

Breakups will never be easy, but they are a part of life. Do your best to stay away from binging on junk food and instead focus on self-care and compassion.

If you find your feelings of sadness are not going away, it may be helpful to talk to someone. When we don’t know how to navigate our strong emotions, we can become depressed and anxious. Speaking with a therapist can help you work through your pain.

If you or a loved one is experiencing depression from a recent breakup and would like to explore talk therapy, please get in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

Filed Under: Depression, Nutrition

Is Social Media Bad for Your Mental Health?

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Have you been feeling a bit low lately, but you can’t quite put your finger on why? It may have something to do with your social media habits. According to a recent study, social media use can increase depression and loneliness.

For years people have suspected that social media use might have an ability to negatively impact our mental well-being. After all, it’s hard not to feel inadequate or jealous when looking at photos of people whose lives seem so much more perfect than ours. But now research is actually making a definitive link between spending time on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter and a sense of loneliness and isolation.

It May be Time for a Social Media Detox

I encourage my clients to take a social media detox every now and then to gain a more positive sense of reality. They often report back to me that the detox offered some amazing and unexpected benefits such as:

Improved Self-Esteem

When you take a break from comparing yourself to other people, you can start to look at how great you and your own life really are.

New Interests and Hobbies

When you spend less time trying to get that social approval in the form of ‘likes’, ‘retweets’, and ‘upvotes’, you suddenly find you have a lot of time on your hands for other things.

Improves Your Mood

Trading in online friendships for real face-to-face ones makes us feel more grounded and connected to people. This can drastically improve our mood and sense of well-being.

Better Sleep 

Many people are on their mobile phone in bed, checking their social media accounts. The blue light from these devices disrupts our sleep pattern. When we put these devices away, we inevitably sleep better.

Able to Enjoy the Moment More

I am a big proponent of daily mindfulness. By being present in our lives, we feel an increased sense of peace and joy. That’s priceless.

So how do you perform a social media detox?

Follow these 4 steps:

  1. Temporarily deactivate your accounts. Don’t worry, you can reactivate them again in the future should you choose.
  2. Remove all Social Media Apps and notification pathways from your devices.
  3. Use a web filtering tool to block social media sites. (Why tempt yourself?)
  4. Be prepared for some withdrawal symptoms and have other activities ready to replace the void.

If you follow these steps and take a break from social media, chances are you will find you feel a whole lot better!

Filed Under: Addiction, Adolescents/Teens, Depression

How Chronic Illness Can Affect Your Mental Health

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If you are suffering from a chronic illness, you are not alone. Almost half of the population in the United States is currently battling some form of chronic physical illness. In fact, chronic illness is the number one driver of healthcare costs in America.

Some of the most prevalent examples of chronic illnesses are:

  • Epilepsy
  • HIV/AIDS
  • Endometriosis
  • Lupus
  • Arthritis
  • Diabetes
  • Heart disease
  • Fibromyalgia

Many people suffering from a chronic illness can become depressed. It is estimated that roughly one-third of chronic illness patients suffer from depression, a rate that is significantly higher than in the general population.

Depression is often an immediate response to the diagnosis. It can be overwhelming to be told you will need to be treated for your illness for weeks, perhaps even a lifetime. Certain types of chronic illness can also, and quite suddenly, change how a person lives their day-to-day life. They may not be able to do the same things and, in some cases, completely lose their independence.

There are physical illnesses which can cause depression by hampering the central nervous system or endocrine system. Some examples would include thyroid disease, Cushing’s disease, Parkinson’s disease and chronic pain.

Symptoms of Depression

If you or someone you know has recently been diagnosed with a chronic disease, it’s important to watch out for signs of depression. These can include:

  • Feeling sad and hopeless
  • Losing interest in once-loved hobbies and activities
  • Changes in appetite (eating too much or too little)
  • Trouble with sleep (sleeping too much or too little)
  • Lack of energy
  • Trouble focusing
  • Thoughts of suicide

Becoming educated about the link between chronic illness and depression is extremely important. So is seeking help. Be sure to discuss any symptoms with your doctor. He or she may be able to refer you to a therapist.

Many patients have found they can treat their depression right alongside their illness by using medication, psychotherapy or a combination of both. It is also helpful to surround yourself with a loving support network of friends and family.

If you or a loved one is experiencing depression as a result of living with a chronic illness and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

Filed Under: Depression, General

How to Boost Your Self-Esteem

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What does it mean to have a healthy self-esteem?

Some people think it means you are okay with how you look. Other people think you must accomplish something big in your life to have a good self-esteem.

But the reality is, having a healthy self-esteem means you like and appreciate yourself faults and all. A good self-esteem can be the difference between being a happy, resilient individual, able to face life’s challenges head on, and someone who suffers from depression and anxiety and is often overwhelmed with life.

If you have struggled in the past with self-esteem issues, there are some things you can do to give it a much-needed boost:

Face the REAL Reality

Are you someone that generalizes your lack of self-esteem? By that I mean, do you make generalities about yourself such as, “I’m an idiot,” “I’m not pretty enough or smart enough?” The truth is, we all act like idiots from time-to-time, and most human beings on this planet can find someone who is smarter and more attractive than they are.

If you’re going to work on your self-esteem, you need to first recognize that you often lie to yourself with these generalities. It may be a very convincing lie from your point of view, but it’s still a lie.

To become familiar with reality, make a list of 10 of your strengths and 10 weaknesses. If you have a hard time coming up with your strengths, think about what others have said about you: you’re a good listener, you are thoughtful, you cook a mean burger.

When you’re done making this list, you’ll see there are plenty of things you are really good at. And, some of the weaknesses may be things you can absolutely change over time and with some effort.

Forget About Perfection

Perfection doesn’t exist. Now you may think all of those Hollywood A-listers that are on the cover of magazines are the epitome of perfection, but even they are air-brushed, photoshopped and have a team of people following them around so their hair is never out of place.

Stop spending your energy trying to have the perfect face, body, bank account, career, children or relationships. None of that exists. Focus your energy on achieving attainable goals like obtaining your degree and enjoying hobbies.

Get to Know Your Authentic Self

We spend so much of our lives comparing ourselves to others that we don’t really take the time to get to know ourselves. Beyond strengths and weaknesses, who are you as a person? What makes you happy or excites you? What hobbies do you enjoy? What kind of brother or sister are you?

The more you know about yourself, the more chances that you’ll find things out you really like.

If you would like to speak to someone about your self-esteem issues, please be in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, General, Issues for Women, Parenting, Self-Esteem, Teens/Children

Coping with the Holidays After Loss

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For many people, the holidays are about spending time with loved ones. But for those who have suffered a recent loss, the holidays can be painful and isolating.

Here are some ways you can cope with the holidays after a loss:

Recognize You are Not Alone

It’s easy to feel as though you are the only one experiencing great pain during the holiday season. Everywhere you turn, people seem to be happy, putting up decorations, buying gifts and making holiday plans. It’s important to recognize the truth right now, and that is that you are not alone. There are people all over the world who have experienced loss, some perhaps very recently.

Honor Your Pain

No one expects you to feel joyful and in the holiday mood right now, so don’t feel as though you must pretend for others’ sake. It is very important that you honor whatever emotions you may be experiencing, whether it’s sadness, anger, regret or a combination.

Take Your Time

The holidays are usually a busy time for people. There is much to accomplish and many events to host and/or attend. You do not have to keep your normal schedule this year. You simply will not have the mental or emotional stamina for it. So take the time you need. If you don’t feel like attending many (or any) events this year, that is fine. People will understand.

Help Others in Need

One of the worst parts about losing a loved one is the feeling that we no longer have any control over our lives. Loss makes us feel helpless. One way to fight this feeling is to help others who are in need. As a bonus, connecting with others who are hurting can often be a salve on our hearts as well.

When Don’t These Guidelines Apply?

If you have children, it’s important to understand that they are looking to you right now to know what life will be like from now on. To a child, the loss of a parent or sibling can frighten them terribly. Though you may not at all feel like celebrating the holidays, doing so helps your child know that life does go on and that there is space in your life to feel joy along with sadness.

 

If you have experienced loss and would like to explore grief counseling, please be in touch. You don’t have to suffer alone.

Filed Under: Depression, General, Grief

3 Ways to Minimize Seasonal Depression

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Seasonal depression, also known as Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD for short, is a form of depression that typically impacts people during the winter months, when exposure to sunlight and temperature changes naturally occur.

Research indicates that about six percent of the American population, primarily those people living in northern states, suffers from SAD. It is also believed that one in ten Americans experience subsyndromal SAD, a milder form of seasonal depression, also called the “winter blues.” And, though the disorder can affect both men and women, it is more common among women.

Symptoms of seasonal depression include:

  • Inability to focus or concentrate
  • Increased weight gain
  • Lethargy
  • Increased appetite
  • Social withdrawal
  • moodiness

Though some people confuse SAD as simply moodiness, it is a real form of depression that is dependent on an individual’s hormonal state, as well as seasonal characteristics like exposure to light and temperature.

If you or a loved one are affected by seasonal depression, here are three ways you can reduce the symptoms that impact the quality of life.

Get Outside

While the temperatures outside may be a bit harsher than you’d like, it’s still a great idea to bundle up and get some sunshine, as much as you can. Our bodies need sunlight to boost our levels of vitamin D. Among other things, a vitamin D deficiency has been linked to mood swings, headaches and fatigue.

Exercise is also one of the best ways to release the feel-good hormone, serotonin. But it is much better to walk for a half hour outside in the sunlight than to get on the treadmill inside. So, if you can bare the chill in the air, head outside and get that body moving.

Use a SAD Light

Of course, there will be those days when the sun refuses to show its face and the weather is too severe to spend much, if any, time outside. The use of a SAD light can help reduce the symptoms of seasonal depression.

SAD lights are also called light therapy boxes, and the light they produce mimics natural outdoor light. Light therapy is believed to affect brain chemicals linked to mood and sleep, like serotonin and melatonin, easing SAD symptoms.

Eat More Produce

Feelings of anxiety are common among those suffering with seasonal depression, but according to Dr. Uma Naidoo of Harvard Medical School, relief may be found at the end of your fork. Fruits and vegetables are rich sources of essential nutrients like magnesium and zinc that ease anxiety and make people feel calmer. While you may be tempted to eat starchy comfort foods like bread and pasta, your best bet is to load up on as many whole foods as you can, with an emphasis on organic produce.


While the cold weather is likely to have most of us dreaming about spring, winter doesn’t have to be an emotional trial. By following these tips you may be able to lesson your SAD symptoms and get through winter unscathed.

If you or a loved one is currently feeling overwhelmed by SAD symptoms, and is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

Filed Under: Depression