Integrated Wholeness, LLC

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How to Find the Right Therapist in Your Town or City

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It’s a new year and many of us have committed to making changes that will allow our best selves to shine through. And in most instances, we know exactly how to get the help we need to facilitate this change.

For instance, if we want to get into good physical shape, we know to head to our local gym and get help from a personal trainer. If we want to eat better to prevent disease, we ask our doctor to refer us to a licensed nutritionist.

And when we want to work on our mental and emotional health, we know we should seek support from a licensed mental health counselor. But finding the right one can seem overwhelming to many and stop them from getting the help they need.

With this in mind, here are some tips on finding the right therapist in your local town or city:

Ask for Personal Recommendations

There was a time the topic of mental health was considered taboo. But luckily those days are behind us and many people are now open to seeking therapy. You may very well have a friend or family member who has or currently is working with a therapist they love.

Ask Your Doctor

If you already have a good relationship with a doctor, dentist, or anyone in the medical field who honors your confidentiality, they are a great resource to tap into about a mental health professional referral since they are connected to many people in the medial field.

Use Your Insurance Company

If you happen to be one of those lucky individuals with an insurance company that has a stellar customer service department, you might want to ask them to suggest a therapist in your network whom they have vetted.

Do an Internet Search

If you have no one you can personally ask, then you will need to perform an internet search for therapists in your local area. One of the best places to start your search is a website called Psychology Today. This site has a comprehensive list of therapists from around the country. To be listed on here requires a minimum of professional qualifications. In other words, a therapist cannot be listed on this site unless and until they can prove they have a legitimate advanced degree in their discipline and an up-to-date professional license or certification.

The beginning of the year offers all of us so much potential. Let this year be the year you deal with any issues you may be having so you can begin to live your best life!

If you live in the area and would like to explore treatment options, please reach out to me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

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Filed Under: General

How to Talk to Your Young Child About the LGBTQIA+ Community

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As a parent or caregiver, it can be difficult to know the right thing to say when kids question what we deem to be adult topics. Broaching topics of sexuality can be awkward for both parties, however, it is a necessary conversation to have.

When it comes to talking about homosexuality and transgender individuals, children should be given age-appropriate information so they can better understand and empathize with others. Regardless of whether or not your child is LGBTQIA+, having a conversation about LGBTQIA+ issues will help reduce prejudice while teaching compassion and empathy.

When to Talk

It’s never too late to start a conversation on issues of sexuality with your children. While there may be initial discomfort and reluctance from preadolescent children and older, ultimately having these discussions with your children will help them develop a sense of safety and security with you, while it teaches them tolerance and acceptance.

For young children, the age of 5 is a good time to begin discussing these topics by sharing some basic information with them.

What to Say

For young children, keep the conversation simple and focus on basic concepts. When talking about homosexuality, you can explain to your child that just as a man and a woman can fall in love, so can a man with a man, and a woman with a woman. When talking about transgender individuals, you can explain that how a person looks on the outside isn’t always how they feel on the inside. You can refer to the familiar adage about “not judging a book by its cover.”

Children should understand the basic concept that even though people may look different than us, they are people just like we are and equally deserving of love, acceptance, and respect.

You Don’t Have to Know Everything

Your child may have questions that you can’t answer. It’s okay to admit to your child when you don’t know the right answer. This could be a discussion point for later after you’ve done some research, or it could be a good opportunity for you to learn from your child.

Are you a parent in need of parenting advice and support? A trained, licensed mental health professional can help. Call my office today, and we can set up an appointment to talk.

 

Filed Under: Adolescents/Teens, Children, LGBTQ

What is Sex Therapy and Does it Work?

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These days, many of us find it hard to find the time to have a decent and satisfactory sex life with our partner. We’re either too busy, too tired or too stressed much of the time. While we may not like it, this is pretty normal.

What’s not normal is having no desire for sex for long periods of time. This usually signals that there is either something physically, mentally or emotionally going on with the person. While in the past many people felt uncomfortable at the idea of talking to someone about their sex issues, it has become increasingly more common and people are now turning to sex therapists for help.

How Do You Know if Sex Therapy is Right for You?

If you are experiencing a lack in libido, it’s first important to rule that your problem stems from anything physical. It’s best to start by making an appointment with your gynecologist or urologist who can detect any hormonal imbalances or any other illnesses/issues that may be going on.

If you get the green light medically speaking, then there is a very good chance your issues are stemming from something mental or emotional. It may be that you are in the mood but your partner isn’t. Maybe both of you are feeling a disconnect from the other.

Whatever it may be, a sex therapist can help you discover what the issue might be and give you the tools to resolve it.

In general, sex therapy can be used to address:

  • A lack of sexual desire
  • Intimacy after infidelity
  • A couple’s disparity in sex drives
  • Intimacy after having children  
  • A paraphilia, or desire that cause a person distress
  • Sex addictions and/or compulsive behavior
  • Difficulties achieving orgasm. 

What to Expect

Talk therapy is one of the tools used in sex therapy but it’s generally not enough to resolve all of a person’s issues. To address whatever emotional issues may be going on underneath, certain behavioral techniques will be used. Usually, these techniques will involve physical exercises that clients will do on their own outside of the therapy setting.

For instance, one common technique used in sex therapy is called sensate focus. This exercise has couples caress or massage one another without any sexual contact. The idea is to have both partners learn to give and receive pleasure and to feel safe together. Once partners become a bit more comfortable, they can then progress to genital stimulation.

NOTE: Nothing of a physical or sexual nature should happen in the therapist’s office. Sex therapists are NOT the same as sex surrogates who do act in a physical way with their clients.

Finding a Therapist

If you are interested in exploring treatment, it’s important to find a practitioner with the proper credentials. Your therapist should be an experienced and licensed psychotherapist with training in sex therapy from a reputable program.

If you live in the area and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

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Filed Under: Couples/Marriage, Sexual Health

Sit/Stand Desks – Are They Good Or Bad?

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You have probably noticed over the last few years that the popularity of sitting/standing desks has really taken off. In fact, sales of standing desks have soared in recent years, and in many cases their sales have far outpaced those of conventional desks.

You may have even read an article or two outlining the benefits of standing more. But is there any truth to these claims? Are sit/stand desks worth it or just hype?

First, if you’re new to this topic, let’s briefly talk about what a sit/stand desk is. It’s pretty self-explanatory actually, these desks are adjustable so the person can sit at them when needed and raise them so they may stand and continue to work.

What are the Benefits – If Any – To Standing More?

The claim is that sitting all day is harmful to our health, certainly harmful to our waistlines. A good majority of people who purchase these sit/stand desks do so in the hopes it will help them lose weight.

But does standing really help you burn significantly more calories? Research published in the Journal of Physical Activity and Health sought to answer this very question. So the researchers fitted 74 healthy people with masks that measured oxygen consumption (which would reflect how many calories were being burned) while doing computer work, watching TV, standing or walking on a treadmill.

The results? Sitting burned 80 calories an hour, about the same as typing and watching TV, standing burned 88 calories an hour, while walking burned 210 calories an hour. So standing for 3 hours would burn roughly 24 calories, which are the number of calories in a small carrot.

So when it comes to calorie burning and weight loss, a standing desk isn’t going to help you get the results you are hoping for.

So Are There Any benefits to Standing More?

While a standing desks won’t help you burn more calories, there may be some benefits to standing more throughout your day:

  • Some studies have shown that after a meal, blood sugar levels return to normal faster on those days the person spends more time standing.
  • Standing more will help reduce back and shoulder pain, and help keep hamstrings loose. (Sitting too much causes our soft tissues to tighten).

So are stand/sit desks really worth it? Probably not. You’d get just as much benefit making sure you get up and walk around the office or your home every hour. If you do want to stand more when you work, you can simply place a small shelving unit on top of your desk, or even place your laptop on a stack of books. It’ll save you a lot of money!

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Filed Under: Chiropractic, Sports / Exercise

Satisfied Versus Full – How to Make Sure You’re Not Overeating

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Most of us have felt that familiar feeling of overeating. We go from feeling “starved” to sort of blacking out as we shove food into our mouths and then roughly 20 minutes later feel “too full” and uncomfortable.

Why does this happen to us and so often? Well, there are three reasons, really”

The first reason and you’ve probably heard this one before (though ignored it maybe once or twice?) is that it takes time for your brain to receive the signal from your stomach that you have eaten enough. This is why eating slowly is very helpful.

The second reason we tend to eat too much is simple – food tastes delicious! We don’t pay attention to whether or not we have “had enough” because we’re too busy loving how our food tastes. This is especially true when eating sweets. Have you ever taken just a few bites of brownie or ice cream and then said I’ve had enough? No, because we crave sweet foods and eat them as if our life depended on it.

And the third reason is that as humans, it seems being full is a sensation that is wired into our DNA. Our ancestors, who lived a feast and famine kind of life, ate as much as they could when food was around, so they could live off the fat when food wasn’t around. This is how the human race survived.

Of course, with a Popeye’s and Burger King on most corners of America and grocery stores open 24/7, most of us have little famine to worry about! Though our modern world has changed, our wiring hasn’t – we still eat until FULL.

But it’s important to be able to listen to your body so you can distinguish between being satisfied – or satiated – and full. So how do you tell these two sensations apart?

Mindful Eating

In order to distinguish you’ll have to start being a mindful eater, which means you will really need to pay attention to your food more. Taste and smell your food, chew thoroughly and recognize how it makes you feel. When you are mindful, you tend to eat more slowly, and this will help you recognize when you cross the line from hungry to satiated.

So being satiated really means not being hungry any longer. You’ve had just enough to satisfy your hunger pains.

Being full, on the other hand, is an uncomfortable physical feeling in your stomach. Being full means surreptitiously reaching under the table to loosen your pants.

So, here are some tips that will help you stop eating too much:

When

Only eat when you’re hungry, not when you’re bored.

How

Eat slowly and eat mindfully, paying attention to the sensations you are experiencing.

Also, portion your food appropriately – cutting it in half and saving the other half for lunch the next day.

What

Eat clean, healthy wholesome foods that won’t leave you feeling sluggish and “off” after a meal.

If you follow these tips you will find you have much more control over how much you eat. And this means you won’t have to wear elastic waistband pants to dinner anymore or lie down soon after a meal to sleep off the pain.

 

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Filed Under: Nutrition

Intuitive Eating During COVID-19

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COVID-19 can be compared to freshmen year of college – it’s stressful, you feel overwhelmed, and it’s way too easy to pack on an extra 15 pounds! Many of us, having been stuck at home and dealing with stress for the past 4-5 months, have found our eating habits have taken a nosedive.

So how do we remedy this?

Many of us are still in lockdown mode and still dealing with the fear and stress of the pandemic. Are we supposed to try and put ourselves on a strict diet so we can lose weight and get healthy? Strict diets almost never work for most people, particularly when they are dealing with a stressful situation.

A far better solution is to turn to intuitive eating.

What is Intuitive Eating Exactly?

Intuitive Eating is an evidenced-based, mind-body nutritional approach that helps people honor their body and their health. By listening to the body and giving it what it needs nutritionally, you are able to meet your physical and psychological needs.

Now let’s talk about what intuitive eating is NOT.

It is NOT a diet or a specific food plan. It is not something where you restrict certain foods or count calories, carbs, or macros. Dieting and food restriction has never worked long-term. It is not sustainable.

But intuitive eating IS sustainable. This is not a diet but a new way to become self-aware and practice self-love and self-care.

How Does it Work?

Most diets put foods into one of two categories: Spinach goes into the “good” category and cake goes into the “bad” category. Intuitive eating gives a person permission to view all food as good and to eat whatever you like because you are trusting your body to tell you what it wants and needs. Anytime we can tune out the exterior world and tune into ourselves, we are far more apt to find balance and optimal health.

Getting Started

There are a few steps I always recommend clients take to get started with intuitive eating.

1. Start Listening

From a young age, we’re taught to listen to others. But rarely is a young person taught how to tune into themselves. It’s time you start. Check-in with yourself throughout the day to see how you are feeling and what you are thinking. Just begin to listen to your own inner voice more over the coming days and weeks.

2. Drop Those Judgements

What foods have you been told are an absolute no-no? Red meat? Butter? Sugar? It’s time to start reevaluating what you have been told by others and let your body tell you what is “good” and “bad” for YOU.

3. Eat More

If you are someone who comes from a diet mentality that has had you eat less, try and eat more and see how your body responds. Remember, you want to really LISTEN to what your body tells you. Eat 3 meals a day and 2-3 snacks. Do you find you’re still hungry? Do you find you get full easily?

Intuitive eating works and it can help you if you’re dealing with stress eating from COVID. If you need any help or guidance with this new lifestyle, don’t hesitate to get in touch.

 

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Filed Under: Nutrition

Benefits of Therapy for Erectile Dysfunction and Sexual Anxiety

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Sex is a natural – and pretty terrific – function of life. But for many men, sex can lead to feelings of anxiety, which can ultimately lead to erectile dysfunction (ED).

The Link Between Performance Anxiety and ED

Research suggests there is a clear link between a man’s mental state and his ability to perform sexually. Performance anxiety is usually caused by negative thoughts about a man’s ability to perform “well enough” during sexual activity. A man may not feel confident about his body, penis size, or his ability to please his partner.

But other things can lead to a man’s inability to perform well during sex. For example, if he is dealing with a lot of stress at work, at home, or is having financial difficulties, this mental stress can and does contribute to performance anxiety.

Together with this mental stress, and the effect it has on a man’s ability to perform can ultimately lead to erectile dysfunction (ED), where a man has trouble getting or maintaining an erection.

Beyond the mental stress, how a man deals with that stress can also affect his ability to get or maintain an erection. For instance, if a man deals with the stress in his life by smoking, drinking too much alcohol, or abusing other kinds of drugs, these lifestyle factors can all contribute to ED.

How Therapy Can Help

Many men suffering from ED decide to get a prescription for Viagra or some other medication. The problem with this is twofold: one, they are not getting to the root of the problem, that is the stress in their life, and two, many prescription medications can come with unwanted side effects.

A much better approach is to eliminate the stress and anxiety in your life. This will help your sexual performance as well as your overall health and well-being.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has been shown to be very effective in helping men regain a happy and fulfilling sex life. A therapist can help a male client discover what is bothering him and offer coping tools to help him healthily navigate his emotions.

CBT can be conducted one-on-one or used as part of relationship therapy, depending on the needs and preferences of the client.

If you are suffering from performance anxiety and/or erectile dysfunction and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

 

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Filed Under: Men's Issues

Mental Health Therapy for Frontline Workers

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None of us were prepared for the global pandemic we find ourselves in. Not parents, teachers, and certainly not the healthcare workers around the country. Doctors and nurses suddenly found themselves working double shifts to care for sick people. As the rest of the world went into lockdown and people stayed home, safe and sound, these frontline workers showed up day after day, putting their health and life on the line.

Many, in an effort to keep their families safe, found other living arrangements. The idea of possibly exposing their family to something they may have been exposed to at work was too much of a risk, and so many mothers and fathers also had to deal with the stress and sadness of being away from their family during the height of the pandemic.

While many frontline workers appear stoic, all of this stress and fear took its toll, even on the bravest among us. As a result, many frontline workers have found themselves burnt out and experiencing symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Symptoms of Depression and Anxiety

It’s common for everyone to feel stressed or sad from time to time. But when certain symptoms linger, you are typically dealing with depression or anxiety. If you’ve never dealt with either before, you may not know the symptoms.

Symptoms of depression include:

  • A persistent feeling of sadness
  • A lack of energy
  • Feelings of hopelessness
  • Sleep disruption (either sleeping too much or too little)
  • Appetite disruption (eating too much or too little)
  • Difficulty focusing
  • A loss of enjoyment of previous hobbies or activities
  • Thoughts of death or suicide

Symptoms of anxiety can include:

  • Excessive worry
  • Agitation
  • Restlessness
  • Fatigue
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Tense muscles
  • Panic attacks
  • Trouble falling or staying asleep
  • Irrational fears

Is it Time to Seek Therapy?

For many healthcare workers, all of their time and focus is on how they can help others. The idea of self-care and asking others for help is not something on their radar.

If you are a healthcare worker that is experiencing symptoms of anxiety or depression as a result of COVID, it’s really important that you let someone else help you right now. A therapist can offer strategies that will help you cope with your symptoms and deal with the underlying emotions.

If you or someone you know would benefit from mental health therapy, please get in touch with me. I offer both in-person appointments as well as online support.

 

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Filed Under: General

3 Ingredients to a Happy Marriage

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Have you ever wondered why some marriages last decades while others barely go two years? Why do some couples thrive and grow together while others crash and burn?

The secret? There are three secrets, actually; three ingredients to a happy and successful marriage. Without all three of these, many couples will struggle to remain connected and committed.

Communication

Communication is to a marriage what gasoline is to an automobile: without it, you’re not going anywhere. And the better the communication, the longer the “motor” will last.

The words we choose to connect with others are incredibly important. Use the right ones and you generate feelings of love, safety, and security. Use the wrong ones and your partner is apt to feel anger and resentment.

It is often said that HOW you say something is as important as WHAT you say, and in many ways, this is true. When you ask your spouse a question, is their answer thoughtful or dismissive? Do they say, “Yes, that sounds like a great plan,” or “Whatever?” Both are affirmative, but only the first sentence is positive and respectful.

But perhaps the most important factor of good communication is listening. Many marriages have been improved when one or more people learn how to be a good listener.

How exactly do you become a good listener? Two ways: Start caring more about your partner – when you care for someone, you are truly interested in what they have to say. Second, when they are speaking, don’t think about other things – don’t think about your day or what you’d like to have for dinner – don’t even think about how you’d like to respond to what your partner is saying, simply LISTEN to them. Give them your full attention.

The better listeners and communicators you both are, the better partners you can be to each other.

Know Yourself and Your Partner

The sad fact is, most people spend more time trying to understand how their smartphone or tablet works than how their own personality – or that of their partner -works. We’re all individuals with unique quirks and behaviors. The more we understand about ourselves and our spouse, the less conflict we’ll experience.

Put Each Other First

Happy and successful marriages are the ones where each person is putting their partner’s needs first. When both are doing this, all needs are being met. Problems arise when only one individual meets their partner’s needs. When this happens, one person is happy, the other is left out in the cold.

If, after reading this, you have become aware that your marriage is missing some of these critical ingredients, don’t be afraid to seek help from a therapist. Sometimes an impartial third party can help both individuals get their priorities straight.

If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

Filed Under: Couples/Marriage

The Benefits of Chiropractic Care on The Immune System

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Admit it, when someone mentions the word chiropractor, you automatically think of neck and back pain, right? Well, while chiropractic care is an excellent option to help people with their neck and back pain, it offers other numerous health benefits, including boosting your immune system.

How Does Chiropractic Care Support Your Immune System?

Since the very beginning of the practice, chiropractic has maintained that a healthy immune system will easily repel most viruses and microbes. After all, that is the job of the system. The body’s design is pretty flawless when its health is supported.

Now, how is the immune system connected to chiropractic care?

Like every other system in the body, the immune system is coordinated and controlled by the nervous system. The nervous system is how the body “talks” to itself. So when there is a virus invading the body, a signal is sent via the nervous system to “release the hounds”, in this case, release the white blood cells to attack the invader.

Chiropractic corrects spinal abnormalities that cause interference in how the nervous system operates. When your spine is out of alignment, there is pressure placed on your nerves, which over time can cause your entire system to get “out of whack.”

Chiropractic care was actually first linked to the immune system way back in the beginning part of the 20th century during the deadly flu epidemic. The data found that flu victims under chiropractic care had only a .25% death rate as opposed to the normal death rate of 5% among flu victims who did not receive chiropractic care.

By working with a trained chiropractor and receiving adjustments, your nervous system is able to work optimally, thereby allowing all of the other systems in your body to work optimally, including your immune system.

Many have seen the benefits of chiropractic adjustments firsthand. “People who receive regular chiropractic adjustments have immune system competency that is 200% greater than those who don’t,” says Dr. Ron Pero, New York Preventative Medicine Institute and Environmental Health at NYU.

As we continue to deal with the novel coronavirus, many people are looking for ways to keep their immune systems strong. Seeking chiropractic care is one of the best ways you can support your immune system so that it works on your behalf 24/7.

If you live in the area and would like to explore chiropractic yourself, call our office or stop in to schedule a free consultation.

 

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Filed Under: Chiropractic